Moo-eow! After much deliberation my human decided on the one Halloween costume that would really showcase my physique and personality. So then she got out the paper mache and started building my costume. (Yes, building.) The horns were a bit … Continue reading →
I know what my human has been building with her paper mache, and I’m so excited! I’m going to have the coolest Halloween costume ever. I can’t wait for you guys to see it… And I swear it isn’t the catnip talking!
After watching the Big Cat Rescue videos on Sassafrass’ and Nekoka’s blog http://wazeau.wordpress.com/2011/10/28/pumpkin-envy/ I had serious pumpkin envy. I quickly added pumpkins to my wishlist. My human came through for me right away!
I know my human works hard and I can be a little demanding at times, so this morning I planned a little surprise to show my gratitude. I knew it was her day off, so just before sunrise, I woke her up with a nice, long bath and hair grooming session. Then I left her alone so she could enjoy the little breakfast treat I left on her pillow. Forget Wheaties. Geckos should be the breakfast of champions!
My human agrees that the only satisfactory Halloween costume I’ve tried is my pirate hat, but she decided that I couldn’t be seen in a costume that everyone and their DOG seems to be wearing (see http://rorytheadoptedhusky.wordpress.com/2011/10/27/aarrrrr-happy-halloween/). I’ll agree with that. But watching her making my new costume is making me a little nervous. Anything combining paper mache and catnip spray can’t be good…
My name is Pedro the Cat, and I have developed a business plan that will make me the most famous cat in history. I was recently advised that I need a Dinky Pony on staff, so I am offering you the amazing opportunity to be my unpaid intern a part of my rise to fame.
Phase I of my plan (building the brand and developing a fan base) is nearly complete. In Phase II, I will be writing and publishing my first book, continuing to build my fan base through my blog and other avenues, receiving many tasty valuable gifts, and gaining corporate sponsorships. I see you as an integral part of that phase, as you will be able towritetake dictation of my life story, transport mearound the neighborhood to public events, take part in cow-spotty photo shoots, and provide my human with artistic guidance.
I know you’ll be eager to get to work, so I urge you to find transportation to my base of operations as soon as possible. I would recommend a USPS Large Flat Rate Box as a comfortable and economical means of travel until the USPS becomes bankrupt. After arrival, you will have free room and board at my human’s condo as long as the grass and landscaping last. Please contact me at your earliest convenience with your travel plans.
P.S. I’ve been told that I look “peacefully sweet”. Don’t let the look fool you – I am a savvy and ambitious businesscat.
P.P.S. After your arrival, if anyone from the homeowner’s association asks your weight, tell them 39 lbs.
Even in Hawaii, most cats wear thicker coats in the winter. This year mine sprouted much earlier than usual, which made September pretty toasty for me… My human thinks my cold weather attire is different from most cats’. It seems as though my white fur gets longer and thicker, but the black fur doesn’t change. This photo shows the phenomenon perfectly – notice the beautiful halo of floofy white fur next to the sleeker black cow spot on my side? Whether that’s normal or not, I think my winter coat is definitely a fashion “do”.
Yesterday’s post, http://pedrothecat.com/2011/10/20/halloween-costume-equality/ showed a comparison of Kitty and myself wearing bizarre pink fairy wings. I’m sure many of you were so busy noticing the size difference between Kitty and I that you didn’t notice the absurdity of the wings, so I thought I should address that issue. I am a large cat. I weigh just over 16 lbs, and my ground clearance is higher than a Honda Civic (although you’d never guess that from the photo on the left). I’ve developed a visual aid to help illustrate my immensity:
Today I was forced to try on another ridiculous Halloween costume. I prevailed this time by gaining control of the remote control and refusing to budge until those absurd pink wings were removed. And then something shocking happened – my human put the wings on Kitty. Finally, I’ve reached equality with the ancient roommate cat! (Kitty might not realize we’re equals, as it seems she slept through the whole wingding…)
After viewing my first movie, my friend Mojo of http://confessionsofacatwoman.com/ suggested that I find myself a Dinky Pony. I know Mojo is very business savvy, so I immediately started shopping for my new DP. I had trouble finding one that could pass the homeowners’ association’s 40-lb pet rule, until I found Einstein! (I think he’s slightly overweight, but who isn’t?)
While Einstein isn’t the world’s smallest pony, he does have some attributes that make up for that – namely, the COW SPOTS! How perfect is that? Can you believe that I found a really dinky Dinky Pony, and he looks like me? And he’s a published author, so I’m sure he’ll be able to help me with my manuscript. He’s the perfect addition to my team, and I’m so excited! Now it’s time to plant the seed in my human’s mind and wait for her to begin recruitment… Do you think he’ll fit in a flat rate box?
The pooch has been named, so it’s time to announce the official results of the Name That Pooch Poll. [Insert cheering and acclamation here.] The winner is [paws for effect] Angus! Angus???
Unfortunately, my voters had the sense to not suggest such a lame name. The family came up with that on their own. So there is no winner in the Name that Pooch Poll. I’m feeling incredibly generous today, though, so I’ve decided that every cat/human/whatever that participated in the poll should win a free lifetime subscription to the “maru can kiss my furry…” blog. Lifetime of the blog, that is. [Insert more cheering and acclamation here.]
On August 27, my post http://pedrothecat.com/2011/08/27/ showed my surprise at having had 500 visitors. And now, 6ish weeks later, I’m preparing for my2000th visitor. Want to know what the big difference between this milestone and that one is? I’m not surprised anymore!!! I’m smart and sassy and fabulous, and I’m going to be famous! Look out Maru, here I come!
The little pooch has been named, so the poll has been closed. The winner of the Name That Pooch Poll will be announced shortly!
Remember how my human’s dad left without me? Apparently he missed me so much that just days after he got home, he went in search of a pet just like me. Unfortunately, gigantic cow-spotted cats aren’t that easy to come by. So he ended up with a tiny cow-spotted puppy – a Cavalier King Charles/Jack Russell Terrier mix. It’s unfortunate that he had to settle for a dog, but I understand his need to fill that void…
Here’s the problem: no one can agree on a name for the poor little thing! In order to avoid fighting and bloodshed among my human’s people, I’ve decided to use my blog for a poll. Please help select a name for the little guy! If a name is chosen from a write-in poll entry, the cat (or person) suggesting that name will win a free lifetime subscription to my blog (lifetime of the blog, that is). No purchase necessary.
I’m really excited that Halloween is almost here, but I’m having a hard time deciding on a costume. This one is a contender. Would it be wrong of me to use Mojo Cat’s brainwashing passive education techniques to get my human to paint stripes on my fin – so I can be a TIGER SHARK???
On one paw, I’m VERY, VERY excited that my technologically challenged human has taken the initiative to experiment with video and editing without my “suggesting” the idea to her… On the other paw, I’m pretty sure we’ll be sued for copyright infringement… On the third paw, there really isn’t a whole lot of action in this movie to enthrall my fans… I hope you see my amazing potential as an actor-cat and enjoy this mercifully brief movie despite its obvious flaws!
Sigh… I’m sad. My human and I completed my very first movie today. I was excited to share it with my adoring fans, but the VideoPress ”buy now” button won’t work. And clicking ”contact support” takes you to a page with the message “Support is closed over the weekend whilst we work on improving our level of service.” That’s kind of oxymoronic, isn’t it?
Maru’s 2012 calendars (yes, more than one) were released a few weeks ago, and a lot of stores seemed to sell out really quickly. Since then, I’ve been planting the seeds of my own calendar in my human’s head. I had envisioned photos for every month of the year, including a sandy, sexy beach shot for July. Somehow my human’s artistic vision is WAY different than mine again. What the heck was she thinking?
(And what the heck is going on with my bikini line???)