I wanted to help celebrate Pedro’s big milestones, so I added a new page. You can check it out by choosing January 30, 2012 under Kitty’s Page, or clicking here.
Today is a huge day for Maru Can Kiss My Furry… This is my 100th post, and any minute now my 8000th visitor will be wandering through. For days I’ve been trying to decide the best way to commemorate the occasion. I thought about showing a slideshow of my 100 favorite photos, but my attention span isn’t long enough. And neither is yours, I’m sure. Then I considered listing my top 100 search terms, but I was afraid that listing multiple variations of phrases like “furry humiliation” and “furry kissing” might attract the wrong crowd. So then I thought maybe I should write a tribute to my idol, Donald Trump, or to Maru-san because he inspired me to follow my career dreams. Nah…
I finally decided that I wanted to write a post about my favorite moment in blogging. There have been lots of great moments since I started Maru Can Kiss My Furry…, but there’s one that stands out above the rest. Those of you who read my wish list for Santa Claws might remember that I asked Santa to bring my very favorite kitten, little You-Sheng, aka Sprocket, from the Miao Chronicles a little red beret. I could hardly contain my excitement when Littlemiao posted fantastic photos of Sprocket learning to wear his new little red beret in the post How to Wear a Beret, Lesson 1. The Miaos made my Christmas dream come true!
I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before, but I have a hobby. I dabble in the culinary arts. Most of my role in the kitchen is supervisory, since I’m lacking thumbs. My human was nice enough to built me a shelf where I can sit while I critique her work, which saves me from accidental staining and singeing. We have a nice partnership in the kitchen… Or had a nice partnership, that is…
I’m not entirely sure how this happened. I do know that my human obviously skimped and didn’t get the drywall anchors rated for plus-sized cats.
I did it! I had some comp cards printed (that’s modelspeak for a card with photos) with my best udder shots, and I’ve written a letter of introduction to the people who do the “Happy Cow” ads. I think I’d make a really good Happy Cow Cat… Any suggestions before I stick this in the mail?
Dear California Milk Advisory Board,
My name is Pedro the Cat, and I have some amazing ideas that build on your “Happy Cow” ad campaign. But first, let me introduce myself. I am a fabulous cow-spotted and career-oriented feline. I am currently owner and editor of the popular blog “Maru Can Kiss My Furry…” and am working on my first manuscript, which is destined for the Best Seller list. I’m also a student of Bovinity, and recently I was honored to be named one of the Top Ten Cows of 2011 by the blog “Every Day I See A Cow.”
I know that the “Happy Cow” ads are popular, but I would like to propose an improvement that would draw a much larger demographic’s interest, in addition to being more economical. I would like to be your next Happy Cow. You can see from the enclosed comp card that I am quite stunning while wearing my prosthetic udder, and I certainly have the look of a Happy Cow. Can you imagine the reaction of cow and cat fans across the nation as they see Pedro the Cat as the California Milk Advisory Board’s official postercowkitty?
In addition to gaining the attention of cat lovers everywhere, working with a feline would also be much more cost effective and would certainly involve less feces than working with common, untrained livestock. Additionally, cats are famous for their love of dairy products (although milk does make me a bit flatulent). Perhaps you could hone in on an important market in California Dairy products as cat treats.
I urge you to contact me at your earliest convenience to discuss this new ad campaign and contractual issues. I am on the verge of fame, so any hesitation on your part might mean that the Got Milk? people have already Got Pedro.
Pedro T. Cat
Future California Milk Advisory Board Spokescat
I know that Kitty makes it sound like I’m a big bully cat that’s always picking on her. She complains that I groom her too much (as if there could ever be too much grooming!) and try to play with her all the time. Well, tonight I have photographic evidence documenting just how generous and kind I am to her.
Remember that fantastic box I celebrated winter solstice in? Kitty started squatting in the box days ago, and I’m letting her stay there. I know that the solstice box is a great haven, and Kitty deserves a nice place to snuggle up and wait out the bad weather we’ve been having. See – I’m not such a bad guy!
It’s a little strange – I’m not really sure if she’s come out of the box since it started getting stormy on Monday. But my human checks on her a few times a day to make sure she’s still breathing… Kitty gets really cranky every time our human lifts that lid!
My best blogging buddy cat, Sammy of One Spoiled Cat, awarded me with a wonderful award. THE Wonderful Blog Award, in fact. I’m very excited about this one, since I really am wonderful. Thanks, Sammy!
Naturally, there are some rules for the awardees. They are:
You must be a follower of my blog. Done.
You must link the award back to my blog. Gotcha.
3. You must pass the award on to three other blogs. Okee-Dokee.
Here are my three nominees and the reasons I chose them (drumroll and fanfare, please!):
The Miao Chronicles - Every day Littlemiao posts beautiful photos of her gaggle of cats. They are all gorgeous cats, but the little tripod kitten she rescued last summer is so charming and lovely and wonderful that I just melt every time I see him. And he’s going to be gigantic, like me!
Lemonysqueezes - Lemony is a volunteer at Helen O. Krause Animal Foundation’s shelter for cats, and she posts stories and photos from the time she spends with the special needs cats there. The stories of her cats just make my heart ache. Billy Bob is almost as handsome as I, and CATarina would love a home where the humans spelled her name correctly. Little Holly yearns for a quiet home, and Sox will be looking for an energetic family to provide lots of playtime soon. And there are so many more, slightly less than perfect cats that just want a home. Lemony is wonderful for the time and love she gives these cats. And the cats are wonderful just because they are.
Catself - Bugs is the coolest, toughest housecat on the block. He’s adapting to life off the streets, but he’s still a bit rough around the edges. And he & I share a hobby – door climbing. He’ll perch on any old door, but I prefer the bifold type… Bugs’ Bean is a wise woman and wonderful storyteller with an interesting point of view. And that makes for a wonderful blog.
Thanks again, Sammy! You’re the best!
Last week one of my loyal and brilliant fans suggested that I send my udderly fantastic cow costume photos to the Got Milk? people. At first I thought it was a silly idea, but the more I think about it, the more I like it. Can you imagine me impersonating a cow in a milk ad? I might need to have some more professional photos taken of me wearing the udder first, though. Those sad looking horns beside me are a little disturbing.
I’ve been working on my New Year’s resolution, which you will recall is a letter to Maru urging him to see a doctor about that troublesome mole on his nose. I wish my trusty advisor Mojo Cat were here, but he’s on saCATical. But here’s what I have so far. Is it too harsh?
I am a business cat with some serious concerns about your welfare and interests. I attempted to learn Japanese last week in order to communicate with you more easily, but found the studies were distracting me from my grooming. So I’m hopeful that we speak the same dialect of feline.
Before getting to the point, I’d like to introduce myself. I am Pedro the Cat, the American cow-spotted blogging cat and soon-to-be superstar that was recently named one of the Top 10 Cows of 2011. You were actually the inspiration of my blog, which is entitled Maru Can Kiss My Furry…
I hope that you won’t be offended by the name of my blog, as it’s just a nod to my superiority. The premise of my blog is that if an average, foldless and Scottish-liltless Scottish Fold cat can be a celebrity and published author, then a brilliant, business savvy, stunningly handsome, charismatic cat like myself can be an enormous (in fame, not girth) international superstar. My blog chronicles my climb to superstarcatdom.
I’ve studied your blog and career extensively, and I have some serious concerns about your treatment and welfare. I feel as though a cat with your fame and income should have more. More toys, more human servants, more sashimi. And more artistic control
- I’ve noticed lately that you seem to be annoyed by those cardboard boxes your human forces you to wear around the house. And less tooth brushing.
Additionally, and the main purpose of this letter, I’m very concerned about that mole on your nose. I hope that you will urge your human to take you to have it carefully checked to rule out skin cancer (ganshu and kokushukushu from my week of Japanese language studies). Cancers of the skin are the 2nd most common cancers in cats, so I hope that you will make sure that’s done immediately
, as you’d be much less marketable without a nose. That would also make hunting geckos much more difficult. You do have geckos, don’t you?
Pedro T. Cat
Pedro’s been busy drafting his letter to Maru, so I thought I’d chip in and write a little something. You can find it in the dropdown menu under my page at January 14, 2012.
The excitement of the holidays is over and it’s time to get back to business as usual, but I’m having a hard time getting motivated to do much work at all. I’m really missing the tree and decorations, special treats, and all those boxes. Even Kitty was nice for the holidays – she even played a few games of hide & seek with me. (I’ll never understand how she ALWAYS wins because I’m a very skilled hider!)
As a transition back to serious writing and brand building, I thought I would reminisce about my favorite box of the season. Some of you might recognize it – previously it wore striped wrapping paper. That was a fantastic box, and my human recycled it yesterday. I may have loved it just a bit too much…