My Caturday was very productive. I gave Kitty a really long bath, helped my human maximize her itemized deductions, and wrote a very impartial review of myself at Review of My Cat… And then I wrote a long letter of complaint to the Postmaster General. I swear they reduced the size of the Medium Flat Rate Box, which made my Caturday nap completely dissatisfying.
Apr
14
2012
Dear Pedro, Bowie my cat, also wrote a letter of complaint today… He doesn’t like my choice of grass! I also want to thank you for the useful tips you gave him. Though I think differently…
Aloha, Bowie’s Human. Welcome to my blog. I believe Bowie’s vomit and complaint were completely justified. I would recommend packing up your current landscaping in a Medium Flat Rate Box at your earliest convenience. Perhaps a Large Flat Rate Box would be better, as they do appear to be shrinking due to our Postmaster General’s penny pinching.
What? They’re shrinking those Flat Rate boxes? Gee – I had hoped to be able to make my trip in the “Economy sized” medium box to visit you in Hawaii but now it appears I’ll have to travel “First Class” in the large size. I was trying to save Mom some bucks. I can tell by the photo that you’re VERY disappointed in the penny-pinching postmaster…..it’s always something isn’t it?
Your Pal Sam
Aloha, Sammy! I know that a Medium box used to be comfy for napping, but look at how tiny that thing is… It’s very disappointing, Sammy. I’m going to have to insist that people mail me larger gifts so I can get comfy.
Dear Pedro,
You cannot take your eye off the postal service for one minute. There’s a cat here at this side of the pond who has tackled them personally and I think that if you don’t get any satisfaction from your letter, then by all means come back to me and I’ll put you in touch. I think he’s one of my licked-in contacts.
Sincerely, and in full support of your right to slightly bigger boxes,
Mojo Cat.
Hi, Mojo! Great to know that you’re behind me even though you’re across the pond! Or are you across two ponds?
Nope. Just one. Unless you count the leak in our hallway.
Pedro, you look so despondent in that photo. I sure hope things improve soon.
Love, Sundae
Sigh. Where is a plus-sized cat supposed to get a good nap???
I could have used your businesscat expurrtise for my taxes this year. Maybe next year!
You look like you could use a hug. And a larger box.
Aloha Littlemiao. I could use a hug. And a larger box… Maybe we could trade a Large Flat Rate Box for tax advice next year…
Let us know when they post your review! I see Maru just got reviewed. I can’t imagine giving my Miaolings and Miao Brothers anything less than full marks, although I think they might be more impartial when grading me.
I’ll definitely tell everyone when my review is published. I’m sure they’ll choose me, even if I did write it myself. I’m a very fine specimen… It might be hard for a cat to judge their human based on the Review Of My Cat criteria, as humans aren’t very useful in general. Or social. You NEVER see a human sniffing another human’s rear end, or giving a head-bump greeting.
What? Shrinking boxes? Simply unacceptable! And good luck on the itemizing of deductions. I see tuna in your future.
Look at how teeny that box is, Rumpster.
Maybe my human will get me a Large Flat Rate Box with all the money I saved on her taxes. And tuna.
They need to think outside the box, Pedro. They should have called you in as a consultantcat. They’re goin’ down.
THEY DID WHAT! Oh No! Wait ’til I tell my Mom! She won’t like it one bit that you had to nap in such a scrunchy bunchy position! I’ll tell, I’ll tell…you keep us posted (MOL) on what’s going on, ‘k paw past Savannah