I’m so excited!!! After hours and hours of shopping online, I’ve finally found the perfect cow! He’s much, much cuter than Maru’s cow. And I think he’ll be the perfect size for me when he’s fully grown. His mom and dad both are about 3 feet tall. When he’s grown up, he’ll be slightly over the condo association’s 40-lb maximum (like 300 lbs over) but he’s so cute that I’m sure they’ll be willing to overlook his weight… My baby bull is really affordable – only $1500 plus shipping from wherever Pillard’s Miniature Cattle farm is. But I think my human would probably notice if I put that on her debit card, so I’ve come up with the perfect calf financing plan. I’m going to install a PayPal widget so all of my adoring fans can make donations to Pedro’s Cattle Fund Drive. Isn’t that a fabulous idea??? I think I’ll name him Bo, short for Bovine…
You may recall that last month I submitted a review of myself to Review of My Cat. I am sorry to say that the editors of Review of My Cat appear to have shut down completely before publishing my review. In fact, our Japanese friend Maru-san was their last subject. My only thought is that they didn’t want to make poor Maru feel bad about his score by following it with such a fabulous creature as myself. I guess I can appreciate their sensitivity… But as I have yet to complete my own sensitivity training, I’ve decided to publish my own review right here on my very own blog. I’ve followed the Review of My Cat format, and included my favorite headshot and action photo for your viewing pleasure.
Duh. Have you ever seen a more handsome cow-spotted cat??? Or any colored cat, for that matter?
I love almost everyone, feline or human. At a party, I’m a social butterfly. I especially love greeting the pizza man at the door when he arrives. I’m not such a huge fan of yippy dogs, and I’d prefer less interaction with the neighbors my human calls The Crackheads. Their yelling makes me groom myself (and others) obsessively… But other than that, I am a highly social creature.
Look at me – I’m a businesscat with his own popular blog. Someday I’ll be paying my human’s mortgage, or maybe my very own. Plus, I’m in charge of grooming and hygiene in this household, which is a duty I take very seriously.
I love hugs. Don’t tell anyone, but my human calls me a “snugglebunny” because I’m so cuddly.
Overall Grade: A+
Does anyone know where I can buy a decent cow? A cowboy cat like myself needs a really talented heifer. Surely Maru can’t be the only cat in the world with an excellent cow…
Did you miss me?
Sorry I’ve been neglecting you all. I’ve been having some technical difficulties – my human has been hogging the laptop! If she takes it out and about for her “work”, how am I supposed to stay in touch with my loyal fans and friends???
Don’t fret – now I’m closely guarding the laptop to make sure I have access. I’m not letting it out of my sight again!
Today mothers everywhere are being honored and pampered and appreciated. I wanted to take a moment to salute my own mother. Unfortunately, my memories of her are fairly vague. But I’m sure she was a fabulous cat and a wonderful mother, and I imagine that she looked something like this… Happy Mother’s Day, Mom Cat!
As you all know, I am a busy businesscat with an exhausting work schedule. Therefore, I do make some demands of my human. I expect a fresh bowl of kibble 90 minutes before sunrise, followed by a complete full-body brushing session. This gives me plenty of time to digest my breakfast and finish grooming myself before my first cat nap of the day, which occurs 30 minutes after sunrise. I work very hard, and I don’t feel these expectations are unreasonable. But when I wake up my human at 4:30 a.m. to order breakfast, she looks at me like I’m a 3-headed alien demanding a lomi lomi massage with hot stones. This morning she had the gall to lock me out of the bedroom immediately after serving my kibble. Where did she expect me to take my 6:30 a.m. nap???
Does anyone know how to remove hard water stains from a cat?
I will never be able to join the ranks of the high-powered celebrity cats unless I look my best. And it’s hard to look my best with this weird water spot on my noggin. It might look subtle in this photo, but I think it really stands out in person. Or in cat, for that matter. Does anyone know how to remove hard water stains from fur?
P.S. No, Kitty has not been subjecting me to Chinese water torture. My favorite watering hole is the bathtub, but the spout drips on me when I drink. I don’t mind the drips – I picture myself as a cow-spotted jaguar in the rainforest, with rain dripping from giant leaves…
You may recall my outrage of the improper use of “What’s black and white and red all over?” in Catsparella’s Vogue magazine review. After lengthy meetings with my legal advisor, I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s only one reasonable plan of action. I need to rally black and white and red all over (BAWARAO) creatures everywhere and inspire them to fight for their rights. One cat alone can’t fight this battle. Unfortunately, I’m having a hard time putting together an exhaustive list of BAWARAOs. Hopefully my loyal fans can assist me with that. Here’s what I have so far:
- Pedro the Cat (naturally)
- Blushing Penguins
- Sunburnt Zebras
- A Nun in a Blender
- Angry Pandas
- Penguins in Ketchup
- Embarrassed Skunks
- Penguins with Diaper Rash
I’m going to need all the help I can get with this project, so I hope you can help me identify all of the BAWARAOs. In the meantime, I think I’ll ask Kitty to handle the Angry Pandas.