maru can kiss my furry...

a note from cranky old kitty

marucankissmyfurry... — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 06:00:22 +0000

Pedro has been a bit under the weather since Tuesday night, and he isn’t even faking it. He thinks he’s feeling yucky from his shots, but I think it was the stress of riding in my human’s truck. She always has the A/C on too low and the radio on too high… Anyway, Pedro wanted me to let you all know that he’s on the mend and he’ll be back to work soon. He also said I should post this photo so everyone remembers how lovely he is. Blech. He doesn’t pay me enough.

Filed under: cat photos, cats, maru Tagged: animals, cat blog, Humor, Kitty, Pedro the Cat, pets

the guilt trip continues

marucankissmyfurry... — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 12:26:58 +0000

Last night was pretty chilly, and I’m still giving my human the cold shoulder (no pun intended). So I cuddled up with the Roku player to keep warm and make her feel guilty…

If she really loved me, she’d take better care of my rear interdigital floof. I look so messy!

Filed under: animals, cat photos, cats, maru Tagged: cat blog, guilt trips, Humor, Pedro the Cat, pets, Roku

i survived the vet

marucankissmyfurry... — Tue, 21 Feb 2012 22:14:45 +0000

I don’t know how she did it, but my human found me in time for my appointment with the vet. It must have been my intense cute-vibe… Don’t tell her, but it wasn’t that bad. My bar stool acrobatics training has been paying off – I lost almost a pound! No one even mentioned the word “fat”. Do you think that means I won’t need diet food anymore???

The worst part of the experience was definitely the drive. I spent the whole time trying to get my human to take different routes, complaining about the bumps, and yelling about the A/C and my human’s choice of music. I can’t wait until I’m old enough to drive!

All-in-all the vet wasn’t as awful as I thought it would be. But I’m going to pout and act angry as long as I can – might as well get as much mileage out of the trauma as I can. I keep licking my arm where I got the shot. Maybe I’ll be able to guilt my human into giving me sashimi for dinner…

And now I have to go convince Kitty that I wasn’t probed by aliens.

Filed under: animals, cat photos, cats, maru Tagged: cat blog, Humor, Pedro the Cat, pet

pedro in hiding

marucankissmyfurry... — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 08:30:29 +0000

Shhh... I'm hiding.

I just found out that my human made an appointment for me to get my annual physical on Tuesday. The vet is going to say that I’m fat, and that my human should reduce my meager diet food ration even further. He’s going to say I need to increase my exercise and reduce my stress. And when he sends me home I’ll be all smelly and upset, and no matter what I say, Kitty will think I’ve been probed by aliens. My plan is to lay low for a few days, and rotate hiding spots hourly so my human can’t find me. I should be able to hold out until Tuesday…

Filed under: animals, cats, maru Tagged: alien probe, cat blog, Humor, Pedro the Cat, pets, Rationing

oops!

marucankissmyfurry... — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 04:21:46 +0000

Uh-oh. Kitty just pointed out that I seem to have forgotten the most important criterion of suitable suitors in my Valentine’s Day post. To meet our standards, the man applying for dating status of our human must also have less hair on his back and chest than I do.

Filed under: animals, cats Tagged: cat blog, Humor, Pedro the Cat, pets

a valentine for my human

marucankissmyfurry... — Tue, 14 Feb 2012 20:36:15 +0000

For Valentine’s Day I decided to do something special. Today I will be accepting applications from men who would like to date my human. My standards are quite high, and here are the minimum qualifications:

1) Must be human, male, and aged 30-50.

2) Must know how to use basic power tools and spell-check.

3) Must have excellent personal hygiene and all teeth (or suitable replacements).

4) Must be employed or independently wealthy, have a place to live that does not also house his mother, and own a car that runs.

5) Must be willing to mow the lawn and wash the dishes.

6) Must love cats. A lot. But not too much.

To apply for dating status, men meeting this criteria should submit a 500 word essay on modern romance. The deadline for essays is March 1, and winners will be notified on April Fool’s Day. If you have any questions regarding the basic requirements above, then please don’t waste my time with an essay.

looking very official

Filed under: animals, cats, maru Tagged: cat blog, dating, Humor, Pedro the Cat, pets, Romance, Valentine

no rest this caturday

marucankissmyfurry... — Sun, 12 Feb 2012 06:26:40 +0000

It’s Caturday, and I’m working again. I’m just a workaholic. It’s amazing that I find any time at all for grooming and cat naps. And hunting geckos. And snacking.

I’ve been practicing my barstool acrobatics, but I can’t really approach Cirque du Soleil until I perfect my high wire act between two stools. And I need some work in that area. I may have mentioned this before, but gravity definitely affects me more than most cats… Back to building the Pedro the Cat brand and expanding my fan base for now…

Today I decided to approach the Soft Paws claw cover people. I think they need a celebrity spokescat, and I would be a FABULOUS posterkitty for their red claw covers. So, I spent the day sifting through the photo archives to find a few shots that really put my best paws forward. Unfortunately, I’m so handsome and photogenic that it’s really hard to choose…

Filed under: animals, cat photos, cats, maru Tagged: Cat, cat blog, Caturday, Cirque du Soleil, Humor, Pedro the Cat, pets

new hobbies and possibilities

marucankissmyfurry... — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 07:09:09 +0000

I have a new hobby, and I’m so excited! A few days ago our human brought home a new bar stool. I didn’t think it was anything special at first – we already had some identical stools. But I quickly realized that this stool was different. Better. This new stool is perfect for feline acrobatics, and I’ve been spending all of my waking hours practicing. It’s really good for the core. Don’t you think I’m looking a little slimmer already? Any minute now I’ll be svelte enough for my human to stop the diet cat food… And if things don’t work out with the dairy cow people, Cirque du Soleil might be an option with a little more practice!

Filed under: animals, cat photos, cats, maru Tagged: cat blog, Cirque du Soleil, Humor, Pedro the Cat, Performing Arts, pets

tonight’s post cancelled due to weather

marucankissmyfurry... — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 06:37:20 +0000

Sorry, folks. Tonight’s post is cancelled due to the frigid temperatures we’re experiencing in Hawaii. My paws are too cold for typing, so I’ll just stay wrapped up in this blanket in my human’s lap until the weather changes.

is that ice in my whiskers???

How cold is too cold for the Hawaiian cat, you ask? Tonight may get below 50°… I know, you’re thinking that I’m just a wuss. But when was the last time you set your thermostat at 50°???

Filed under: animals, cat photos, cats, maru Tagged: cat blog, Hawaii, Humor, Pedro the Cat, pets

bovinity studies

marucankissmyfurry... — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 10:31:49 +0000

It’s been almost two weeks since I mailed my letter to the milk folks, but I’m not concerned. I’ve stepped-up my Bovinity studies a bit, so I can be prepared for the part when I receive their call. As you can see in this photo, I’m getting really good at portraying the true essence of cow…

Do you think I should get my ear pierced, too?

Filed under: animals, cat photos, cats, maru Tagged: cat blog, cows, Humor, milk, Pedro the Cat, pets