november 18, 2011

Pedro asked me to put together a bio on our human.  Since it’s almost time for my nap, I thought I’d whip up a quick Top Ten list of interesting tidbits and trivia…

1). Our human’s real name is…  Crap.  It’s on the tip of my tongue…  Let’s come back to this one.

2). She does pottery.  Mostly handbuilt, oddly proportioned things.  It’s convenient that pottery is her hobby, since Pedro’s hobby is breaking pottery.

3).  She’s funny.  Or at least I assume she is, since she’s constantly making herself laugh.

4). After 252 hours of Zumba in the last 9 months, our human has gained 1 pound.  Her goal was actually to lose 15 lbs, so she has a ways to go.  Personally, I think she should give up the Zumba and try bulimia.

5).  She has short hair, but she’s not a lesbian.  (No offense to any lesbian readers.  She likes lesbians.  As friends, I mean.)

6). Our human is a procrastinator.  Anything that can be put off until tomorrow probably won’t get done until next month.

7). The most commonly heard phrase in our home is WTF, only spelled out completely before vocalization.  She says her potty mouth comes from Alaska.  If that’s the case, I think we should be glad she doesn’t have an outhouse mouth.

8). The 2nd most commonly heard phrase in our home is, “I’m so sorry, Kitty.  I can’t take him back now.”

9). Our human’s favorite flavor of ice cream is Ben & Jerry’s Creme Brulee.

10).  She always wanted one of those miniature cows that are bred to look like panda bears, but knew she would never be able to afford one and she would never have space for one.  Adopting Pedro was her compromise.  She seems satisfied with the choice.  I am still undecided.

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23 comments on “november 18, 2011

  1. How very nice of you, Kitty, to tell the world on behalf of you and your roomie Pedro the inside scoop on your human. She certainly sounds like a lovely person who keeps you and Pedro entertained with all those little “human ways” that we felines find so endearing (or irritating – depending on our mood). It’s nice to know where her cow fetish originated – Pedro seems to be a nice compromise AND he’s got YOU helping to manage his meteoric rise to the top of feline blogdom…..with some assistance from your human I’m sure.

    • Hi Sammy. We have trained our human to entertain us well, and she usually complies… I think the mini cow would have been quieter than Pedro. But he would probably poop more. It’s kind of a toss-up for me…

  2. That Panda Cow is rather pretty.

    I wish I was as handy and creative as your human. This week my cat Bertha has broken a glass side table (after using a swivel chair as a launching pad to get onto a wardrobe – bound to end in disaster, although no harm thankfully), and her brother Mackenzie has broken a mug but I’ll have to go to the shop for replacements :-(

  3. At first I thought that the panda cow picture was one of Pedro’s baby pictures. I think I might need glasses.

    I think your human must be quite an artist to be able to design such a lovely udder for Pedro.

    Also, I too am a procrastinator but I never procrastinate when it comes to naps, food, and kitty cuddles. Do you think if I breathe enough floof I will become a cat one day?

  4. Pingback: my human, cont. | maru can kiss my furry…

  5. Kitty…..Bullemia not a good thing. My sister was both bullemic and anorexic, many years ago, and almost died! Argh!! Humans can be so trying, sometimes! Other than that, I enjoyed reading this blog (I love Ben and Jerry’s too – cheesecake ice cream, though…num, num!!).

    • Hmm… If bulimia isn’t safe, maybe she should consider amputation. One of those limbs has got to weigh a lot. Or maybe a kidney. I wonder how much one of those weighs… Kidney might be the way to go, since she could sell it on the black market…

      • If I might add a comment based on Sprocket’s experience as a tripod kitty, you can actually gain weight after an amputation – in fact, you may double or triple your weight within three months.

        • Unfortunately, I googled kidneys and they only weigh about 1/4 lb. So I guess the plan should be to sell a kidney on the black market and use the cash for liposuction… Alternatively, she could sell the kidney to buy crack. Crackheads are skinny, right? She’s always calling the upstairs neighbors crackheads, so buying crack might be convenient…

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